Question for AOL folks

Yesterday I once again tried to e-mail Grandma at aohell, and once again it bounced as no such user. I get that sometimes even when replying to an e-mail I know is valid. Andy is pretty certain they're bouncing mail based on our ISP, which is a national cable provider which has, no doubt, produced its share of spam over the years. Given my hatred of spam I can almost consider it worth it, if it wasn't getting in the way of my talking to my Grandma. So, a few questions:

I've heard aohell has a whitelist function. Is this correct?

Does aohell call the whitelist first?

If there is a whitelist and aohell uses it before its domain-based filter, could someone tell me what to tell Grandma? She's extremely smart and savvy, but sometimes is intimidated by computers.

Thanks in advance!

Musings on Blood Donation

It's the time of whatever again for the "Those meanies won't let gays donate blood" thread in gaystr8alliance. This time I decided to post my own feelings on the issue there. Those who are interested are invited to check, refute, and if need be correct any factual errors I may have made.