So, What Now?

[willowisp]

I am officially graduated, even though I don't yet have my final grades. The grades were due on Thursday at 11:00pm local time, with the intentions of getting them to us via internet on Friday. The best-laid plans etc, and the site went down on Thursday so not all of the professors could get the grades in. Last I heard, Oswego is hoping to get them up sometime tomorrow. Andy is fairly certain the professors would have warned me if I was near flunking anything, and general consensus among friends is that I'll not have bombed the exams/papers/journal as badly as I fear. I will be content (though not exactly happy) to have accumulated four Cs.

People, thankfully not on LJ, have asked what I'll do with the degree. The thing is, I have no idea. Part of me would love to try to find somewhere which would allow me to get a master's in creative writing/fantasy. The University of New Mexico (UNM) is not a viable option; on their page for creative writing/fiction they outright state that they're not set up for fantasy or science fiction. I would need to worry about explaining away two very bad semesters in order to have an undergrad GPA which would get me the minimum requirements needed for several of the programs I've looked into, and the other problem is distance learning. Andy does not want to do this LD thing again any time soon. I will also be watching Oswego to see if they make their graduate work long-distance; I would love to get my master's there, and to heck with people who say it's bad to get your grad degree from the same place you earn your undergrad.

One thing I am looking at doing in the immediate future is getting back into jewelry-making. I've already enrolled in two one-day courses, basic bench work and metal-forming, from the local company from which I get supplies. I'm also looking into the Gemological Institute of America (GIA) for a distance-learning degree on gems. If I like the short courses enough, I'll go for some larger ones which include labs, but at most 2-3 day trips. The other advantage is that their HQ is in Carlsbad, which is a decent haul from Albuquerque, but more like a day-long car ride than a day in airports, like it is for almost any destination from Albuquerque. Anyway, if I get my degree from GIA I may actually look into some courses in Carlsbad, but those would be for half a year rather than the two-three years for a master's degree elsewhere. I plan to chronicle my adventures with jewelry classes, both Rio Grande and GIA, in my LJ account for jewelry-related stuff, ferretshock.

Of course that leads to what I would do with all of this jewelry learning. I don't plan on becoming a jeweler or a jewelry designer, though I do have a few ideas which I might put to work in making stuff for friends and relatives.

I guess the overall thing is that, especially in this economy, I don't need a paying job. Andy makes enough for us to live comfortably, and aside from being able to help family and friends who are in distress, there is nothing we would actually do with any additional income. I also don't think it's fair to take a paying job when there are people out there who need them. Back when I was job-hunting I would get so frustrated at people who were taking jobs I could do just for something to do.

I hope to go back to volunteering. Kitty City is always a possibility, though the store which hosts it is usually only open during the hours Andy is at work on weekdays, and we're a one-car family. Another option, one which appeals due to my high-school extra-curricular activities, would be to help out if any local school(s) has/have (a) forensics (speech and debate) team(s). I don't know how qualified I would be to coach since I mostly did extemporaneous speaking in high school, but if here is anything like high school, judges are sorely needed. Tournaments largely happened on Friday evenings or all day on Saturdays in high school, except for states or nationals, so the car wouldn't be as much of a problem. Last but not least, I'm thinking of looking up literacy volunteers in the area. I don't know how good of a teacher I would be, but I would love to help adults learn to read, given how much I enjoy reading.

So, those are my thoughts for now. If anyone is interested I'll post grades once I get them, and be watching ferretshock if you want to follow my jewelry adventures. I may wait a little while to get re-acquainted with Andy and the kitties and to see what the distance-learning classes are like before jumping back into volunteering.

Comments

[raira.livejournal.com]

I wrote a huge response to this, and lost it. Arrgh.

The gist of it was how incredibly impressed I am that you have done this. It's a huge thing, and many people wouldn't even contemplate going through what you have done. I'm sure your grades are much better than you fear, and I know Andy is proud of you (as am I, for what that's worth) for seeing it through.

I also wanted to make an argument for paid, or at least regular, work. There are a couple of good reasons to think about that, which I rambled on about at some length before, but hopefully will be able to put more concisely here.

When I was at home with no particular structure to my days, and with my role in the family being the caretaker of the house and the kids, I was glad to be doing it, but I wasn't, by any stretch of the imagination, fulfilled by it. Whilst I rather like the house being tidy, I do not enjoy getting it that way, and have no interest in managing my time in order for it to be that way all the time. Consequently, one of the main roles I fulfilled were not being done well at all, and it really bit into my self-esteem. It also damaged my self-esteem that my big achievement of the day might be cleaning the bathroom. My God, is that all there is to life, you know? That might make some people feel good, but it didn't do it for me. I loved being there for the kids, though.

The lack of structure in my life meant that there was no due date for getting things done, so they just didn't get done. (Once again, my self-esteem was slipping). And many of the things I knew I could do really well, and rather enjoyed, I wasn't able to do. Like you, I studied, and that helped, but once again, I had to impose discipline on myself to get things done on time, because there was nothing pushing me.

Even though we were surviving on one income, none of it was coming from me. And regardless of my husband's feelings on the fact, I felt that, because of that, I did not have equal say in how the money should be spent, or an equal role in our partnership. This may not apply to you, but it certainly did to me.

In the end, it was important for me to go back to work. Yes, maybe there are people out there who need the money more than I do, but my happiness is a pretty important consideration. I *am* a lot happier. Things get done, even though, now I have more commitments to work around. I'm not with the kids as much, but when I *am* around them, I am happier, and coping much better.

I would hate to see you lose the impetus you have now. I'd hate to see you slide into unhappiness because you aren't doing the things that make you happy. Volunteer work is a really great thing, and if that works for you, fantastic! But when you're paid to be somewhere, there's no putting it off, you have to go, you have to do the things you are employed to do, and that actually gets you out of bed in those mornings you'd rather not.

I'm not trying to tell you what to do. I'm offering you some thoughts on my experience. This was the right thing for *me*. It may (or may not) be the right thing for you. Either way, I know you have Andy's love and support, and I know you'll survive financially. I will just remind you that your happiness is incredibly important, so please make sure you factor that into whatever decision you make in the end.

Congratulations, honey. You certainly deserve all success that comes through your grades, and more!

[willowisp.livejournal.com]

That's given me some food for thought. I'll gnaw on it as I think of what direction to go in. Thank you!

[gconnor.livejournal.com]

The University of New Mexico (UNM) is not a viable option; on their page for creative writing/fiction they outright state that they're not set up for fantasy or science fiction.

Hmmm... if that's your only reason to avoid them, and there are other *good* things about UNM, you might want to spend some time questioning that assumption. Talk to some people there and elsewhere, to see what they think about it. I'm sure there are some specific things you'd learn from a fantasy/sf progam, there's also a huge amount of cross-over between "regular" writing skill and "fantasy/sf" writing skill. There are probably plenty of fantasy/sf authors who don't have a specific fantasy/sf certification.

[willowisp.livejournal.com]

It's a thought, but I'd still need to write something, and I don't know that I'd do too well in mundane fiction. It's worth it to think about it, though -- the main attraction to UNM is location, since Andy has made it clear that I'm not going away for another two years.

[ljedi.livejournal.com]

I meant to respond to this before, sorry it took so long!

I fully support any and all of these endeavors! I think they're a great idea, and I am definitely interested in following your jewelry-making.

Good luck with it all!

And here's another sentence just so I can add one more exclamation point! ;)