willowisp | (no subject)

Thank you to everyone who's responded to my message from way too early this morning. It's been a pretty surreal day, with more phone calls than we usually get (or place) in a month. I'd already bought tickets for my next visit, so I called USAir to change them. The wait (not to mention their voicemail being so overloaded that we kept getting busies) was unreal, and it turned out that buying a whole new ticket at bereavement fares was cheaper than changing the one I already have. Andy used frequent flier miles.

The result of that is that we're both leaving at the same time, but he's going to Charlotte and getting to Syracuse at 21:00 and I'm going through Pittsburgh and getting there at 23:30. We're going to try to work something out at the airport. One good thing about bereavement fares is that they're unrestricted, so although I reserved my return flight on Monday, I can change it to Sunday. I'm leaning toward that option since Mom has to work on Monday, so I'd spend the day being beaten up by Noia and missing Andy and not much else.

I'd been hoping they'd forget my promise to sing along with Julie's cello-playing at the funeral, though not holding out much hope since I only offered in my last visit to Rome. Part of it was that I know three different ways of singing Amazing Grace and I couldn't remember which one I grew up with. Mom, Gerry, and Julie sang it over the phone to me, so there went that excuse. The other thing I'm wrestling with is my motive, and especially whether I'd be doing it for Grandpa or more for me. I don't know if he even remembers that I could sing; I thoroughly trashed my voice by trying to sing when I was sick, and I'd like to think it's still good. With a captive audience, they'd almost certainly have to say nice things about my voice, even if I was horribly off-key and breathy and so on.

Mary has simplified or complicated matters by saying she wants no singing since it'll make people cry more. I don't know whether my family's reaction will be to tell her where she can shove it, or whether they'll be happy letting me off the hook. I'm toying with the idea of bringing a notebook along and trying to come up with a eulogy, though maybe she won't be letting people do those, either. I guess I can take the notebook along, try to come up with something, and see what Gerry and Julie and Mom say -- that and hope for a dream which gives me a nudge as to whether I should do anything at all and if so, what.

Since our flights don't leave until 18:00 tomorrow, I'll probably be checking in and I might even post during the day. Andy has a doctor appointment as long as I remember to remind him about it. As always, whether I can check in or not, I'll try to post while at Mom's and/or Pamela's.